What if They had an Inattentive ADHD Party and nobody came?

There is a lot of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD or ADHD-PI) in my family. This would lead to pandemonium were it not for the fact that we all use multiple accommodation methods (as in Americans with Disabilities Act accommodations) to remind us where to be, when to be there and why we are going.

Remember the quote from the 1960s? "What if they had a war and nobody came?” In my family that question hangs in the air no matter what the event is. "What if they had an Inattentive ADHD party and nobody came?" Without a significant amount of help, my relatives are likely to show up on the wrong day, show up at the wrong time, show up at the wrong person's house or not show up at all.

The accommodation that most members of my family use are not high tech. My mother sticks a sticky note on herself when she needs to remember something and then everyone who sees her asks, "Why do you have a post-it on you that says 'ophthalmologist'?" She reports that her post it note method is ideal because everyone she sees reminds her of her appointments. Another member of my family writes all over her hand with Sharpie when she has an important task or appointments to remember. On busy weeks her hand is so tattooed with Sharpie notes that she looks like a member of a Goth band.

I am more technologically evolved than these relatives. I have alarms on my cell phone that I turn on to alert me of upcoming responsibilities. This works pretty well except when it doesn't. Last week my cell phone alarm went off at seven in the morning and I turned it off and shrugged that I already remembered the meeting that I had at eight. That alarm however was not for THAT meeting but was to remind me put the bag of donations out on the curb for the Kidney Foundation. The bag had been cluttering up my mud room for weeks but my alarm system only works if my mind is working and therein lays the problem of any reminder system.

The more cluttered my brain becomes, the less likely that I am to remember why I set the alarm. I do always write in my calendar why I set the alarm but if I am busy and scattered, I am too inattentive to bother to read the reason for the alarm.  I hate those little details and besides I am sure that I know why I set the alarm.  This is the reason why the Kidney Foundation bag is now cluttering up my basement.

Pulling off successful holiday parties, in my family, involves the production and distribution of email reminders that are sent out daily at first and then almost hourly as the time of the big party approaches. Even with all the reminders, some of us arrive late or with the wrong side dish. Luckily we are a forgiving group. In the past years we have come to depend on our cell phones which thankfully start ringing and texting when we have totally missed the mark.

My mother tells a funny story of getting all of us kids scrubbed and dressed for a big costume party when my youngest sister was 2 and my eldest brother was seven. There were four kids to outfit and it was a huge production.  The party was at noon and she woke us all up at seven in the morning to prepare.  All of us had to be fed, bathed, combed, and clothed in costumes no less. She said she worked continuously from seven to noon to get us all ready and when we arrived at the Country Club where the big party was to be held there was not a soul around as the party was not for another week.

I am guilty of arriving at parties an hour or a week early or late, arriving at the wrong person's house, arriving with the wrong type of greeting card or not arriving at all. "What if they gave an Inattentive ADHD party and nobody came?" That is what should be expected. The miracle is when anyone arrives at all.

When I told my family that I was starting a blog about Inattentive ADHD my aunt said, "You mean the distracted leading the distracted?" My mother, ever the optimist, said "You expect these despistados to actually find their way back to your blog?" The Spanish word 'despistadado' is a, not as charitable, word for the English word 'distracted'. I had to admit that they had a point. Getting followers or readers might prove to be an uphill climb.

I think my mother and aunt are wrong so do me a favor and place your face up there with those lovely faces of followers on the right and please subscribe to my email or RSS feed (also on the right of this blog).  My relatives will not believe it unless they see it for themselves.