Self Esteem and ADHD Inattentive (ADD Inattentive)

Self Esteem and ADD

In our rush to get our Inattentive kids and adults up to speed in school and at work, we often get lost and forget that there is a human being struggling with failure and feeling none too good about it. We can run around trying to put classroom accommodations and work assistance in place, search high and low for just the right vitamin, supplement or medication and forget that this person's self esteem is in the gutter and before any intervention will work, we need to get that self esteem back on the street.

The worse thing that ADHD Inattentive (ADD Inattentive) does to our children and our adults with this condition is make us feel as if we are total failures. A child may be totally unfocused and distracted but you can bet your bottom dollar that Inattentive ADD children are acutely aware of their incompetence when they have failed a test or have otherwise performed poorly at school. Adults that continuously fail at work have the same self esteem problems.

I was inattentive as a child and also failed miserably in school. The most important thing my parents did for me was remind me that I was smart in many other areas and that just because I failed in school, this did not mean that I was a failure in life. My parents reminded me that I had “Islands of Competence’.  There is a wonderful book and/or DVD called The Motivation Breakthrough that helps Inattentive type ADD children find themselves.

Make sure you find an 'island of competence' for your ADHD Inattentive (ADD Inattentive) children and encourage adults with ADHD-PI to find something they love to do and are good at as well. Your ‘islands of competence’ are those things that you are uniquely good at. This skill need not be academic or sports related it could be baking brownies, being a great conversationalist or throwing really good parties. This ‘island’ is a ‘place’ where this person can go and feel that they are really good at something.

When I was ten years I had two islands of competence. I was really good at playing and caring for babies and I was good at tinkering and fixing appliances. I was so really good at those two things that my mother would brag about how babies just laughed and stopped crying when they saw me enter the room and she would get on the phone and call neighbors to tell them when I would fix something like a broken dryer.

I may have felt horrible about being a failure at school but I always knew that there were things that I was really good at. Knowing you are good at something goes a long way towards bolstering your self image and we are all better able to deal with the set backs and failures in our lives when our self esteem is intact.

Go and find something your ADD Inattentive child or you are really good at and then make sure to pat yourselves and them on the back.